New ways of being, for people ready to build beloved community.

I have come to know Shani as one of our Next Church coaches as I facilitated 'Antiracism as a Way of Being' training for our church, and I cannot say enough good about her. She brings calm and sincerity into the space, and helps gently prepare participants to receive and conclude the training. Her prayers are uplifting and Spirit-filled, and her stories about her own experiences are preparatory gifts. Her coaching of me and the other facilitator through the six weeks kept us on track and grounded, and helped us remember why we do this work. I have also heard Shani preach on two different occasions and felt both times that the Spirit had spoken through her to open our eyes and ears to what we needed to hear that day. I am grateful that Shani has answered the call to do this work; I have certainly been blessed by her spirit.

Shani McIlwain has a remarkable gift for creating spaces where honest reflection, courageous conversation, and real growth can happen. She understands how difficult it can be for white people to engage deeply in the work of anti-racism, and she is not afraid to lead predominantly white leaders and congregations into that necessary discomfort. Shani brings wisdom, compassion, and accountability together in a way that challenges without shaming and moves us beyond good intentions toward meaningful transformation. Shani has been my personal anti-racism coach for several years, and I am deeply grateful for the ways she continues to challenge me to grow. She has become a dear friend and trusted colleague.

Shani's coaching has been a key part of my growth as a pastor and a Jesus follower. Through Shani, I've been able to ask thoughtful questions such as, 'who benefits from this?' when I am both encountering challenges and evaluating new ideas in my ministry context. I am so thankful for Shani's wisdom, feedback, and experience.

I do three things when I first wake up:

• Coffee
• Prayer

(Maybe one day those will switch. Today is not that day.)

Read Shani McIlwain's reflection.

And here's why: I see myself in Shani's words. They reach me as a white trans man in Tucson. I recognize many of the fears, questions, struggles, pain, and joy she names as they exist in me. But Shani also helps me see what I have been able to move through the world without noticing. Her words call me to stand alongside those living and breathing liberation in a country too often structured against their very being. Shani helps me see myself. She helps me see others. And then she asks me — through every reflection — what I am going to do with what I can no longer pretend not to see.